The Grudge

I’ll be the first one to say that I get angry very easily. It tends to happen in an instant. (My boyfriend is somewhere nodding his head in agreement.) Depending on how mad I get it can linger into something more.

Grudge /ɡrəj/ noun a persistent feeling of ill will or resentment resulting from a past insult or injury.

I can hold a grudge like it’s nobody’s business. Sometimes it will last a couple of days and others will last years. It’s not something that I’m proud of but it is something I’m more aware of. I’m sure you’ve heard someone in your life say that it takes more energy to be mad than to just let it go. Let me tell you how true that is.

It took me a while to realize how bad being angry truly made me feel. Anytime I got into a fight or argument with someone we would just stop talking and my thought process was “oh well….out of sight out of mind.” But I would still catch myself thinking about them and by that time I felt like I made it to far to give in. (Pride is a bitch.) Once you finally decide to suck it up and reach back out, if you ever do, things get better and you wonder why you let whatever it was get in between you. It feels like you wasted time for no real reason at all.

Why waste time if you don’t have to?

Even though I’m still working on my temper and being quick to react, I’ve started letting go. I will no longer hold a grudge. I cannot move forward if I’m holding onto the past.

I refuse to hold onto the past.

I guess this post was more of a self reflection. Putting the information somewhere where I can look to it when I need it the most. But maybe you needed it too. Some days you need a sign to nudge you in the right direction. This is your sign.

I hope it helps.

Sending positive vibes your way.

xo

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